I have felt myself like a loser many times if I didn’t achieve what I was aiming for. It’s not that bad if you did everything you could but you just didn’t success. But if you have to quit before completing the task it sucks. And it has to be you to say the words “I can’t do this”.
I believe many musicians are conscientious and sometimes forget their own well-being. I have written earlier about the case when I passed out on the theater stage because working under flu. I know that it is wrong to go to work when you are sick but I felt I had no choice.
This time it’s about my wrist. I have had some problems already for ten years. When I was younger it got better faster and I didn’t pay so much attention to it. So many musicians hurt sometimes that it is somehow concerned to be normal. But playing shouldn’t hurt! I wrote my last thesis about the physical demands of working as a musician. Also my close friends have had to quit playing because of problems in their hands. So this time I wanted to be careful and went to a doctor when the pain didn’t end in two weeks. Now I’m eating pain killers for one week and giving rest for my wrist. Hopefully I am able to play in the next concert.
So I had to give up one project. It was not only about the wrist but also technical difficulties. I was so excited about this project because it was going to be a solo performance in Turku with the bass clarinet. It was going to be a part of a really interesting concert series in a bar. Definitely I am going to attend some of the concerts. It is not nice to say no, but I hope something else will come up when it’s the right time.
Spring looks busy with work and the next big thing is Musikschau der Nationen in Bremen, Germany! I will be writing my blog from there like in Oslo but this time I will also use my language skills and write auf deutsch.