Last Saturday we had the premier night of Amadeus in Oulu city theatre. I was not going to play and I saw the whole performance few nights before when there was first audience (family and friends). So I decided to stay at home for the evening and only enter the after party. It was 20 minutes to seven when I got a call from the theatre. The other clarinettist had broke her instrument just at this moment! I jumped up from the sofa and rushed to the theater. Luckily I live so near that all this took me only 10 minutes and I already gave my instrument for Reetta. She used her own mouthpiece and barrel so it was not too weird for her to step in with a new instrument. And it was still lots of time, like 9 minutes before the show started and she was ready. And luckily I decided to stay home. Otherwise I woudln’t maybe have my phone on or at least getting my instrument from home would have taken a lot more time.
These couple of weeks I’ve been using my free time to prepare for an audition. I have participated for few auditions before. The last time was in Oslo in January with E flat clarinet. This time the focus is with bass clarinet. Maybe everyone has always the same feeling. There is not enough time to get to know all the new orchestral excerpts in such a short time. Unless you are lucky and know them all already. Now for the first time I felt quite comfortable with Mozart. Adagio from the second clarinet concerto by Spohr was quite nice to learn with bass clarinet. Although it has it’s own tricky moments. Compared my last preparation, this time I’m also working all the time so I haven’t got many days only for practicing for the audition. Last time I used my whole Christmas holidays alone practicing almost everyday (people need to rest!) and had nothing else going on.
My feelings are a bit contradicting. On the other hand I’m really thrilled to travel to Helsinki to play. I believe that I wouldn’t practice so much if I didn’t have anything coming up. And somewhat I enjoy the challenge. On the other hand I’m terrified and thinking “What is the point? There will be so many others and so many betters”. But I think that it’s what we musicians have to do. Prepare ourselves for the auditions and participate many times. Everytime should be better and better but it’s quite impossible to practice these emotions and practical things before doing it.
I’m a huge fan of one tv-series called Black Box that just started this autumn in Finland. There was one brain surgeon who said to one medical student that succesful people focus on the things they can do best. Better than other people. I wrote earlier about my skills. I feel I’m quite skilled person but it also takes time to find the place where I will be able to use my skills in the best way.
Wish me luck for the next week! Time to practice again.